YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.
please read this whole thing.
(Source: cali-cocaine, via themagconfamily)
Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys
there will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty, your wisdom, your heart; mostly because they can’t handle their own, but you will never be and have never been “too much.”
i was babysitting a little boy and girl once and the boy asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said “no!! but i have a girlfriend!” and he said “like a friend thats a girl?” and i said “no like a boyfriend but they’re a girl instead of a boy! we still do couple things but we’re just both girls” and he said, without missing a beat, “oh ok! are you gonna marry her?”
like it’s literally that easy for kids to understand
(Source: bunnyhug, via themagconfamily)
you know, i’m a raging lesbian and i was never distracted by what other girls in my classes were wearing in high school. this is a male problem, not an “attracted to women” problem.
This is an “inability to respect women” problem.
Which is a male problem.
(Source: deteitte, via that-fangirling-teenager)
zayn: dad i gotta go to my friend’s mom’s wedding
yaser: which friend?
yaser: the little white one that smokes?
yaser: sit yo ass down
This is why you should have a cat y’all. Egyptians believed that cats repelled evil spirits.
Cats are evil spirits. They’re just the strongest so all others must bow to their greatness.
Actually according to legend, cats are guardians of the Underworld. So once you are dead if you try to sneak back into the land of the living they send you back where you came from. They protect the living from the dead.
If you ever wonder why a cat stares off into the wild blue yonder and then bolts off for “no reason…”
That cat even looks like it’s accusing him of something like wait a Fucking minute here are you dead did you really think you could slip that shit passed me
(Source: rouxx, via flomation)
when my family went to disney world we went on the haunted mansion ride and this actor dressed as a skeleton came up to our cart and got right in my three year old brothers face and whispered “are you scared?” and my brother kissed him on the nose and the guy laughed so hard he had to leave
which is messier my life or my hair